Find your Grail!

Why can't I walk?

2009-07-20T14:06:00.001-07:00

It seems these days I can't walk in a straight line without falling down. 3 weeks ago I missed a step and fell down 3 stairs. 2 weeks ago I was walking my dog and stepped on a rock or something, and fell again. This was worse because of course it was on the street with the neighbors watching. Both times I just got some bruising, nothing serious. Last week I was pulling up a ground sheet that was under mulch, it gave way suddenly and I went flying.Again, just bruises.

This past weekend I was walking the dog on a walking path, and stepped in a hidden pipe, and went straight down again. This time I bruised, pulled and hyper flexed my knee. been hobbling around for 3 days now. Getting tired of this!

When I was a kid I lived for a year up in Labrador Canada. Cold, snowy, lots of pine trees. It was a known fact that in the winter we had a hazard that got you when you least expected it. Snow snakes. They wrap around you feet and make you slip and fall. But they were white, so you couldn't see them in the snow.

Now I know it isn't snow snakes, but I think there is something purposely tripping me. Probably Fairies. You know, if you piss them off, it can get ugly fast. Maybe if I leave a saucer of milk out for them.
Hmmmm.. better Google what placates Fairies.

When did I sign up for this?

2009-06-17T13:27:00.000-07:00

How is it a woman, upon getting in a relationship with a man, immediately become his social secretary? Where is that rule written?

Granted, I can understand it if the event is her family, or something she is involved in and he isn't. Than it makes sense that she is the coordinator. But what about his friends, his family, his events? Why is she making the calls for events he wants to do? Even when she isn't going??

For example: I have a friend, a divorced father whose daughter and ours are good friends. All of us enjoy riding horses together. For years we would get together as a group and go on trails rides, an overnight trip to the beach, etc. Now suddenly he is dating someone, (granted, a friend of mine) and she is asking me, for him, if we want to ride this weekend. Understand, she can't go, this is for him, his daughter and us.

Are his fingers broken that he can't e-mail or call us? Has he suddenly forgotten our names or phone numbers?? Also, if she wasn't around, he would have his daughter text us.

He isn't the only one. Another friend we had shared an interest with us in science fiction shows, books, etc. We would get together as a group and watch our show and order take out. Then he dated and married another mutual friend. Suddenly he drops off the radar completely because she isn't interested in science fiction, so now he doesn't join us for anything. See his social secretary didn't set it up for him.

So this is not only lame, but causes you to miss out of a lot of fun. And really annoys your friends, just so you know.

I hearby quit as social secretary..

Ice Cream Odyssey

2009-06-12T12:24:00.000-07:00

It's Friday, after a very long week of work, rain and stress. I was sitting at lunch with a friend, looking out at the sunshine (Yay!) and eating a very unsatisfying blah lunch when we realized we both had gift cards for Cold Stone Creamery. It took us all of 5 seconds to decide to cut out lunch short, and dash out to get ice cream, after all, we had gift cards, that means it's FREE!

Of course, neither of us knew where the nearest CSC was. but we figured it was close enough to dash out in our 1/2 hour left of lunch and get back. No one would even notice, right? We dashed back up to our desks, and I looked up CRC locations on the web. There was one only 3.8 miles away, and I knew exactly where it was. Since I knew the location, I drove, which meant we took my hulking truck with no air conditioning. Not really a problem, just a quick dash down the road, up two exits on the beltway and we were there.

We head out, chatting happily, when traffic slows to a crawl. Road work right at the entrance to the beltway. Well, ok, that only added an extra 5-6 minute to the trip, right? Meanwhile we had an enjoyable time commenting on the houses, cars and clubhouse we passed. Once on the beltway, we zipped along, took our exit, and found the shopping center with the CSC.

As we are creeping along trying to find a parking space, and dodging little expensive cars 1/3 the size of my truck, we realize from the store fronts we are in a lot more expensive rent district than we thought. There was a sidewalk sale going on, and from how the drivers and people walking were acting they were giving away gold somewhere on that sidewalk.

We parked and browsed the sales on our way to ice cream. Everything was 50% off, great bargains, but 50% off of a $187 sweater is still too much for a sweater to wear to the barn or work. We finally arrive at Cold Stone Creamery, Mecca for those who truly love freshly made ice cream with decadent toppings blended in..mmmmmmm. The world was a happy place.

We walk in and the place smells like freshly made waffle cones and happiness. I give my order (since I had decided what I wanted before even leaving work) and pull out my gift card. But at that moment we got unequivocal evidence the universe hates us, the person behind the counter tells me the credit card machine is broken, and they can only accept cash. But we have gift cards we say, waving our burgundy plastic in the air as evidence. They use the same machine as credit cards. We were devastated.. we didn't bring any cash, all we had was drivers license, keys and the gift cards. (no sense advertising to the whole office we were going somewhere by bringing purses) But, we protested, we drove all the way from work to here just for ice cream! The youngling behind the counter just looked at us.

We walked back to our now hot from being in the sun truck. How would we now make it through the rest of the day? We felt like a 5 year old who had been shown a back yard full of swimming pools and popsicles who was then sent back to a desk to do math homework. Then we had to fight traffic to get back to the beltway.

As we were driving along, bemoaning our lack of ice cream (and the total lack of joy in the world right then) my friend asked did I know where a neighboring road is. Yes, I said, then she said there was another CSC on that road. We looked at each other, and decided we were already out, and half way to that road, why not. Plus, it was for FREE ice cream!

Well, traffic wasn't as smooth in this area of town, and when we get to the road, we decide we need to go right, to find the ice cream. We creep along, stop light to stop light, roasting in the sun and my no air conditioner truck, peering in each shopping center to see if that was the one. Of course neither of us was really sure where it was. after several miles and about 580 stoplights, we realize we were going the wrong way. I finally get some common sense, and call 411 on my cell phone, and contact the store for directions.

Yep, we had gone the wrong way. Some kind person finally let us make a left U-turn and we went back though all the stoplights, creeping along with about 9 million other people in cars (why aren't these people at work instead of getting between us and FREE ice cream??) Until finally, we see on our right the glorious sign of ice cream nirvana. Not being in quite the same sort of neighborhood as the last one, not only was parking easy, but fellow ice cream seekers were polite, even friendly as we went in.

Out first question was 'Is the Credit card machine working?' Yes, they assured us it was. We then proceeded to explain our journey, with all it's trials and set backs. We also explained we were determined to have our ice cream, come hell or high water. Not a problem, not only did they prepare wondrous creamy goodness, but the owner came out, and when we explained our odyssey to ice cream nirvana, he gave us coupons for free goodies for the next trip.

Joy. I had a waffle cone with coffee ice cream, chocolate swirls, Heath bar and nuts. As I was getting back in the truck, I realized I had on a white shirt. Not good, but I was determined not to waste a drop anyway. I actually got half way back to the office before I dripped on the shirt. *sigh* But one drip isn't bad, and I do have my Clorox pen.

We get back to the office just as we finish. I decide to get a last drip out of the cone, and throw away the bottom (I was going through sugar/coffee overload by now anyway). I tilt the cone up, with it's little paper sleeve still on it, and about a gallon of melted coffee and chocolate poured down my face, neck and shirt. So much for my little white top with the embroidered daisys. Now I get to spend the rest of my (short) workday sticky, with my jacket buttoned up, and on a caffeine and sugar high.

It was so worth it.

Food memories

2009-06-11T11:22:00.001-07:00

I went down to lunch today, and was presented with this:

Now this may look innocent, but it brought back disturbing memories of my childhood. Fried chicken, yummy; Mac-n-cheese, yummy; collard greens, nooooooooo!

While I grew up mostly in the south, my mother is English. So I got to the 2nd grade before being presented with collard greens as a menu item. My father was in the Air Force, and we ended up in NC where I went to a small town elementary school.

Now remember, this was back in the 60's, when there was still paddling in schools. Teachers held the power of God over students and we obeyed them without question. Practically every lunch at that school included greens. They were cheap and easy to serve, but for someone whose only experience with slimy green things was walking through cow pastures, it wasn't appealing.

My teacher had a rule, you eat everything on your plate. Period. No arguing. So I would barter my desert to whomever would eat my greens for me. No amount of threats or cajoling would convince me to eat that. It was stressful, to say the least. We had to wait until she wasn't around, and I had to be sitting near an agreeable fellow student. A couple of times I had been caught with greens left on my plate, and had been paddled. It didn't work, I still wasn't going to eat them. I wasn't normally disobedient, or defiant, but I refused to be browbeaten.

Finally my teacher caught me trading desert for greens consumption, and she was furious. After a brief bout of shouting, she told me I would sit there, until I ate the greens. The rest of my class went back to the room, and I sat there. Bells rang for recess, and I sat there. The final bell rang, other students went and got on buses, and still I sat there. No one ever came back in the cafeteria to check on me. Everyone left and the school was locked up.

Hours later, I was sitting there quietly crying when the police and my mother arrived. When I wasn't on the bus, my mother had checked the entire route, all my cousins homes, and finally called the chief of police and got the school unlocked.

I wasn't there when my mother spoke to the school board about the teacher (this wan't the first incident with her) but my class had a new teacher the next week.

I still won't eat greens. (shudder)

And now for something completely different...

2009-06-11T09:22:00.001-07:00

Ok, there is a crisis..and it's happening in homes and offices across America. This crisis is a severe lack of..Bathroom Etiquette.

It's not like there isn't information out there..
Women's Health Magazine Bathroom Etiquette Guide
Urban Etiquette Top 5 Rules
There is even a website dedicated to educate the world on courtesy in the bathroom
The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette
Goucher College even published a tongue in cheek version for college students.

There is a lot of humor out there, but that often has a grain of truth in it.
Male Bathroom Rules
Female Restroom Etiquette

A lot of the comments are the same, wash your hands, flush the toilet, etc etc. But I have a few especially annoying habits to address.

The Bathroom, even at work, should be a haven of peace and quiet. It should be clean, and smell faintly of Lysol or Clorox. Visitors to this realm should be courteous, patient, and neater than they are at home. There should always be sufficient paper products available. Since the majority of public restrooms are separated by sex, there should NEVER be surprises on the seat in a ladies restroom!

I realize this fantasy restroom doesn't exist, but I seriously don't understand why the seat in a ladies bathroom has urine spilled all over it. Are men sneaking in to the ladies restroom? Do we have a huge number of cross dressing guys out there? I can understand not wanting to sit on the seat of a grimy gas station bathroom, or worrying about mystery germs on the seat. But since there are seat liners and plenty of toilet paper available, I don't understand why women are squatting above the toilet high enough to splash (and therefore on themselves as well..ew!). Don't even get me started on the mystery puddles on the floor. Why would you leave that for someone to step in and track all over the workplace?

Teenagers in High School talk on their cell phones in the bathroom, actually they seem to have the cellphones permanently bonded to them. But there is a vast difference between 16-18 year old kids, and professional women in business suits yakking about their personal life (or worse, WORK!) while doing their business.

If the door is closed and locked, someone is in there. You don't need to knock, The door is locked! You can't get in until that person is done. Period. Really. It's not a hard concept to grasp. This is especially true at home. If the door is closed, stay out. Unless someone is laying on the floor bleeding, you don't need to talk to the person who is trying for a moment of privacy in the bathroom. You don't need to ask if they are ok, or what they are doing, or what the plans are for the rest of the day. Yes we are ok, what we are doing is private, and the rest can wait. Guys especially need to listen to this because you really don't what to know what we are doing, trust me on that.

Ok, can we recap those rules? They really go for men or women.
1. Don't pee on the seat.
2. Clean up whatever you spill.
3. Silence is golden.
4. If the door is closed (or you see shoes under the door) wait patiently and quietly at the far side of the room until that person exits.

That's only 4, but they cover a lot. Lets all have happy bathroom experiences from now on. Oh, and appologies to gas station bathrooms, that is a stereotype which is largely untrue these days. I have been in some pristine bathrooms at gas stations, kudos!

Here is a classic e-mail that made the rounds a few years back.
1999 Survival Guide

Wherefore art thou, America?

2009-05-13T10:54:00.000-07:00

I have to wonder, where is America these days? I don't recognize the country I live in any more. I used to live in a country where you were proud to be an American. We said the pledge of allegiance, we respected the flag, we honored our soldiers, and we believed in our government. We lived in a Christian country, founded on Christian principles. We welcomed any religion, or no religion, and we fought for the right to choose.

We believed in human rights, that any person, anywhere, has the right to live free of oppression. We believed in the two party system of checks and balances, with respectful and fair discourse. We didn't feel the need to vilify the opposing argument or the person presenting it. It was a country where journalism was an honorable profession, dedicated to presenting the truth without garnishment or opinion.

What do we have now? We have a country where schools don't say the pledge, where courts are battling to remove 'In God We Trust' from money and official documents. Our laws and Constitution are based on the Ten Commandments, but they are not allowed to be displayed. The majority of American's are Christian, yet Atheism is rapidly becoming the state religion. Why?

We used to be proud of our children, when they chose military service. Flew our flags in support, spoke of opportunities and careers. Companies fought to hire our veterans. Now instead of being respected as the elite group of representatives they are, the military is dismissed as being the last resort for the troublemaker and high school dropout. Universities try to ban recruiting, parents are appalled when their child speaks of joining up. One thing is the same though, companies still fight to hire our veterans. When you are paying for skill and knowledge, you want the best. The military is a far cry from the 'point and shoot' the liberal media would paint them as. Today's military is made up of intelligent, skilled, and disciplined men and women, who are using the best technology in the world to accomplish their goals. They use high tech equipment, complex programs, and must be able to keep a multitude of scenarios and possibilities in their minds ready for action at all times. A far cry from those of us in the 'real world' who can't find their car keys this morning, or regularly crash their e-mail program.

Freedom isn't free. We give lip service to that, but no one wants to back it up with action. There is genocide, slavery and starvation all around us, but we don't want to get involved. We don't want to hear about it, so it doesn't make the news. Just like we didn't want to hear what was happening to the Jews in Europe during WWII. Just like we didn't want to hear what happened to the Cambodians after Vietnam. We didn't want to hear about Bosnia, Rwanda. We don't want to hear about Dafur. So we don't. Unless you search the internet for alternative news sources, you won't hear about the evils in the world.

When did it become ok to personally and visciously attack other Americans because they don't agree with you? When did political cartoons become not just no longer humerous, but outright nasty? What is the purpose of that? (and why is anyone buying those cartoons?) When did it become ok for an instructor to humiliate a child in class, because he had different views (or different news sources) than the instructor? We all have the right to express our opinion, but that freedom ends where the next person's freedom begins. Everyone has a right to not be harrassed, or oppressed because of their beliefs, whatever they are.

I remember taking education classes in college, and supervisior training in the workforce. Both emphasized always being neutral when discussing any subject. Politics, religion, race, gender, all have to be spoken of with respect, and no attempt on the part of the person in authority to coerce the other person to agree with them. Isn't this the basic principle for teaching? When did that stop?

I remember in college reading the Journalist's Creed by Walter Williams, founder of the Missouri School or Journalism.
"...I believe that the journalism which succeeds the best-and best deserves success-fears God and honors man; is stoutly independent; unmoved by pride of opinion or greed of power; constructive, tolerant but never careless, self-controlled, patient, always respectful of its readers but always unafraid, is quickly indignant at injustice; is unswayed by the appeal of the privilege or the clamor of the mob; seeks to give every man a chance, and as far as law, an honest wage and recognition of human brotherhood can make it so, an equal chance; is profoundly patriotic while sincerely promoting international good will and cementing world-comradeship, is a journalism of humanity, of and for today's world."
How did we get from that ideal, to where we are today, with sensationlist newspapers rushing to print whatever rumor they hear, and writers spouting their opinions as facts? Where newspapers publish information on goverment agents, risking their lives just for a cover story?

When did is start to be so fashionable to hate America, to hate ourselves? Why does it make people feel smugly superior to degenerate their own country? Like it proves they are smart, or enlightened because they don't like America anymore. Have we gotten so shallow?

Suddenly I feel like I am back in grade school.

So much for the Squirrel....

2009-03-27T11:13:00.000-07:00

For a urban area we have a surprising amount of wildlife in our back yard. Squirrels, rabbits, ground hogs, chipmunks, deer, and a wide variety of birds. I am always thrilled to see on of the red tailed hawks in our yard, not only because I think birds of prey are beautiful and endangered, but because those darn squirrels keep eating my flowers. I keep hoping the hawks will take down the population a bit, but they seem to only be after the water in my bird bath.

Imagine my delight to come home to this one evening! Yes, that is a bald eagle having a squirrel for dinner! He is sitting on our telephone post, and was just gorgeous! I hope he decided to stay in our neighborhood. We have a LOT of squirrels.

Geek Art...

2009-03-16T07:50:00.000-07:00

OK, I found this on Slippery Brick, a great techno site. I want to make this, but I HAVE to make the Starship Enterprise one now.

Mario Kart sculpture made with office supplies

Posted in Nintendo by Conner Flynn on March 15th, 2009
Why be bored at work, when you can build your own version of Mario Kart? Made using bits and pieces that you have around your desk already. Donald Kenny created this awesome little Mario sculpture. It’s right up there with the Starship Enterprise built from office supplies.

It’s made using coins, binder clips, wire, and other found office supplies. Have your buddies build some others, like Bowser, Koopa and Toad. Plus create some small turtle shells and bananas and soon you will be racing in the break room.

Awesome work of geek art. I’m telling you, there needs to be a museum of “things created from office supplies”.

[Technabob]

http://www.slipperybrick.com/2009/03/mario-kart-sculpture-made-with-office-supplies/

SUV etiquette

2009-03-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

Even with fuel costs being what they are, it seems the number of SUV's on the roads is increasing. I don't really have a problem with that, esp if the owner has dirt roads to travel, unplowed snow to navigate, or trailers to pull. The original SUV was designed for the rural traveler to make it to town and back.
Now it seems the SUV is a suburbanite status symbol. Nary a dirt or unplowed road to be found, but still lots of them in my neighborhood. Still not an issue with me, but if you are going to buy it, learn how to drive it! This morning I was in my car, at a merge onto a 4 lane hwy. The merge is short and traffic heavy, so you pull out, watch traffic in your side mirror, and when you see an opening, floor it! I pulled into the really short merge lane, and look behind me to see a white suv and a line of cars. And that is all I could see. The SUV had pulled out so far, I couldn't see either of the two lanes of traffic coming. The SUV driver then laid into the horn, like I was holding her up from something important. If you are going to drive an SUV, realize the size of the vehicle you are driving and be courteous!
I'm not just ragging on SUV owners, I have teenagers and 6 horses, so I also have a Suburban. It's a beast, and I am well aware of how large it is. (esp hauling a horse trailer) I can't count the number of times I have held back at a merge, or at a light, because I know the person in that Toyota or VW can't see past the monster truck beside them. (and yes, a Surburban is actually a truck, built on a truck frame, not an SUV built on a car frame. It's an important difference).
So if you live in a city townhouse, but insist you have to own that Hummer or Jeep, fine with me. But learn how to drive it!

Snow Birds

2009-03-05T10:34:00.000-08:00

No, not people who fly to Fla in winter, actual birds in snow. Specifially the birds who gather around my bird feeder. We get a wide variety, mostly finches, and other small birds. We get the occasional woodpecker, after the nuts in the mix I use, but the king of the feeder is a Cardinal who with his mate have joined the freeloaders.

I watched them this weekend. The ground was covered in snow, and the feeder was full. The male is very bold, flying up to the feeder and scattering the smaller birds, but his mate was more timid. She just couldn't bring herself to perch on the feeder. When she tried, another bird will fly near, and she will flee to the upper branches or a nearby bush. The male tried to entice her to the feeder, but she stopped even trying. She sat on the ground, under a bush. Then the male cardinal started pulling seed out of the feeder, and scattering it on the ground. The female hopped over and started eating. That became their system. He would take over the feeder, scatter seed for her, then she would eat on the ground, near the safety of the bushes.

It was amazing to me to watch this bird realize his mates fear, and figure out a way for her to eat in safety. All of which was immensely entertaining to our cat. The whole feeder set up is outside a bay window, where her bed is. It's like the cat version of tv.

Black Friday

2009-02-13T21:14:00.000-08:00

I wore black today. So did the majority of my female co-workers. It reminded me of another group of co-workers years ago. We were all single moms, we all had lost hope of meeting 'Mr. Right,' and we all hated with a passion the silly, pink hearts, cards and flowers commercialism of a meaningless holiday.

So every Valentine's Day (or the last work day before) we all wore black. We also were fairly evil to any unfortunate male who crossed our paths that day. We figuratively shook our fists at the heavens and screamed "Lies! It's all lies! There is no cupid! There is no holiday which makes a man mired in his jerkdom suddenly turn into Prince Charming. If we get flowers or candy on the day, it does NOT make the relationship all better." We rejected the power of Hallmark. When you are alone or unhappy, Valentine's Day is the main holiday that seems to deliberately point out your misery.

Today, I still think it's a made up commercial extravaganza, but I not longer hate the holiday. I did finally meet my Prince Charming. I will admit there is a happily every after. I actually didn't deliberatly wear black today, and none of my co-workers seem to wear it with a purpose. I wore it because it matched, and it wasn't wrinkled.

I do still reject the power of Hallmark though.

Friday LOLCat

2009-02-06T10:23:00.000-08:00

moar funny pictures

Today my Grail is BACON!

2009-01-30T12:35:00.000-08:00

(With a nod to The Junk Drawer Blog, Kathy, we know you will try this now)

Did you know that the restaurant Founding Farmers in DC has a cocktail that comes with a bacon stirrer? Truly! Check the lunch/dinner menu.

Here is the description: Bone ‐ Created by the author of Imbibe!, David Wondrich, this savory cocktail is shaken with Knob Creek bourbon, simple syrup and a few dashes of Tabasco. Served with a bacon lollipop.

I sooo want a bacon lollipop.

And was anyone watching Fox and Friends this morning? They featured a new Bar-B-Que sensation called a 'Bacon Explosion.' (see recipe here)
This is bacon, rolled up in sausage (and any other goodies you want to throw in, peppers, etc) them wrapped in a basket weave of, you guessed it, BACON!

They were out in the street, grilling several of them, and the usual 3 commentators were joined by a horde of men, who all quickly sampled the Bacon Explosion. As they talked, I kept seeing hands going to get another piece, and neither of the two females there so much as touched it. As soon as the main commentators stopped talking, I could see all the news guys crew scurrying over to sample it.

You could actually HEAR the arteries clogging up. I have to admit, it did look good.

Mmmmmmmm...bacon...

Christmas trees...

2009-01-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

A rather hilarious blog mentioned the joys of a live tree (Junk Drawer, check it out!)
Here is a photo of our tree, with most of 10,000 strands of tinsel on it. (some have already migrated to other places). You can't really appreciate the shiney-ness of that much tinsel except in person.

I am an artificial tree person, after one sneezing, allergy ridden Christmas years ago, I have always had artificial trees. BUT my hubby has always stalked and killed his own tree for Christmas. Sooo for the last 4 years we have had a real tree. AND he loves tinsel..lots of it. You think needles are forever? try getting tinsel out of carpet, off drapes, etc. It gets everywhere. My brother came over, and he called when he got home to tell me he found tinsel in his house. Some how it migrated without him even knowing it.

We will also have to pick every bit of tinsel off that tree when we take it down. Tinsel isn't biodegradable. What tinsel we don't capture then, will show up in various odd places, partly because that cat loves to play with it, and stashes it in corners, but also because nothing has static cling like thin sheets of aluminum foil. We will empty the dryer, and find it stuck to all the shirts. It will somehow get to every bit of carpet in the house and weave itself in to hide. It has a life and mind of it's own. Have you ever walked by a tree with tinsel? It will lift up as you go by and wave, don't be taken in! If you get close enough, it will leap onto you, and ride you as an escape pony to the outside world.

The first year we did this, I fought the tinsel! I swept, it tangled in the broom. I vacuumed, it broke the machine. It hid in closets, to leap out at me months later. Now after 4 years, I let it roam free and don't worry about it. Plus Hardwood floors help to keep it contained a bit. In any case it's hard to worry about tinsel so much when you have muddy barn boots and hay in your living room. (notice the boots next to the tree).

No doubt this weekend we will take the tree down, and send it off for recycling. Not as much fun as what my husband used to do in his old neighborhood. Everyone there had live trees, and saved them until a suitable sat night, when the air was clear, and beer was cold, and held a big Bonfire of The Christmas Trees. The whole neighborhood then stood around the fire, talked, ate and drank beer while kids ran around in the dark playing.

Can't do that here, but I wonder if we could, would more people want real trees?

Prop 8, the Musical

2008-12-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

Ok, usually I don't go for political stuff, but this is funny!
"Prop 8 - The Musical" starring Jack Black, John C. Reilly, and many more... by Jack Black

Honestly, why would anyone care who wants to get married? Except perhaps the insurance companies, who will now have to cover an expanded family they have gotten out of covering until now.

Celene Dion and Elvis!

2008-12-17T09:12:00.001-08:00

Ok, whether on not you are a fan of either, or the TV show American Idol, this is pretty incredible.
http://www.squirtsplace.com/wmv/ElvisCeline.wmv

Too much time on their hands...

2008-12-11T13:09:00.000-08:00

Another gem from the e-mail bin:

What bored engineers do when they retire.

College pranks..

2008-12-05T14:48:00.000-08:00

I went to college back in the dark ages, (according to my kids) the late 70's early 80's. Since this year we dropped off a daughter at her college (more accurately helped her move in approx 5 tons of stuff into her mini apt), I was reminiscing about the days of yore. I realized what I remembered wasn't the classes, what I learned, what happened in politics that year. No, what I remembered best was the trouble I got into. :-D

Our small college campus was set in a circle, around a central landscaped area with a flag pole in the center. There was a line around the central area of special exotic trees (Ginko's??) and a pond with a waterfall, all of which the College President was immensely proud.

Did you know if you pour a whole box of tide into a pond with a waterfall, it will make enough bubbles to envelope the entire pond? One time we actually had drifts of foam across the campus.

Did you know if you toilet paper all the trees around campus, the night before Parents Day, no matter what anyone does, they can't get it down before the parents get there? Trying to hose it off the trees just makes it bond cement-like to everything.

We had all-girl dorms with hall bathrooms, one on each end of the floor. No one is very alert, or thinking well first thing in the morning.

Did you know shaving cream makes floors very slippery, and you can surf all the way to the end of the hall?

Did you know if you vaseline the outside door knobs of all the rooms, then no one can get back in their rooms? Especially funny when most people just ran to the bathroom in undies or a t-shirt, or are coming out of the shower in just a towel.

Did you know if you put saran wrap across a toilet under the seat, it's invisible, but a very effective barrier?

Did you know if you get 8 football players, you can turn a small convertible sports car on it's side, and carry it into a building and leave it in the lobby? (we still don't know how it got out)

Did you know if you go in a classroom building at night, and take out all the furniture and set it up around the flagpole in the middle of campus, the teachers cancel classes that day? (some times they swear a lot too)

Did you know if you trigger a fire extinguisher into a fan, it will then coat every surface in that room with the foam?

Just so you know, I'm not saying 'I' did any of this...
I just know if happened.
:-)

Courtesy, not so common these days

2008-11-13T11:30:00.000-08:00

I grew up a military brat, so I am well aware that different areas of the country, and different cultures have their own rules of courtesy for parties and events in the home. I have had long discussions with friends on how the South and New England have their own versions of Emily Post manners.

Now, let me relate to you some experiences I have had with a particular acquaintance, and see if there really are areas of the country where these would be considered good manners.

When invited over for a dinner, where I made home made spaghetti sauce and my own fresh bread; this person showed up with a grocery store loaf and garlic butter, and proceeded to made garlic bread in my oven. No, didn't ask permission, and had been told not to bring anything as the dinner was planned. This is besides the fact the cheap garlic butter that was used made my whole house reek for days.

Recently my college age son decided to have a Halloween party, which we told him we would help him with. This acquaintance is dating the mother of some of the other college age kids coming. I get a call as I am cooking some party snacks, they want to know what the menu for the party is. (um, THEY weren't invited) When the college age fare was related (pizza, munchies, chili, cupcakes and brownies) I was informed they didn't like any of that, and wanted to bring their own steaks over to grill. They were informed we weren't starting our grill up for them, and I figured that was the end of it.

Since the party started after 5, at 4 I was finishing things up before I jumped in the shower. I get a knock on the door, there they are, with the 10 yr old son whom they informed me they were dropping off at the party while they go out. While I absorb this, I am informed I am cooking the chili wrong also. The evening went down hill from there.

This is just two examples of a long string of incidents. (yeah, I don't invite them to anything any more) Now where I come from, we would say this person was raised in a barn. What do you say?

Who wants to be a millionaire?

2008-10-21T12:40:00.000-07:00

If you want to be a millionaire, I know of a specific item, which once designed and put into production, will end up in every office across the nation. I don't want any of the glory or cash for the invention, I just want you to create this for me, and millions of sufferers.

Are you ready?

Create an air filter you can put in a microwave, that will take out the nasty fish smell before it escapes and causes the whole office to hurl.

Simple. Brilliant. You will make millions

Oh, and also the nauseating smell of burnt popcorn (along with all those carcinogens we heard were in Microwave popcorn), also whatever was heated up that made everything smell like wet feet.(I don't want to know) Funky cheesy smells, onions, garlic, whatever. All the nasty smells people who share an office kitchen have to face to use the microwave.

Don't tell me to clean it, that doesn't stop the SMELL! Once the microwave fan starts, any smelly thing percolating in there gets spread in a 50 mile radius! It's especially bad in the morning. (WHO EATS STINKY FISH AT 8AM!!! SERIOUSLY!)
You already feel bad (you had to come to work at O dark 30 in the morning), and the one thing you look forward to is that cup of coffee or tea, but to get it you have to brave the kitchen and it's bevy of mystery leftover reheats.

One office I worked in barred fish, smelly things and microwave popcorn. It was wonderful! It happened because we had 3 pregnant women, who informed management they could either deal with a lot of throwing up, or not allow stinky things in the microwave. Hey, whatever works.

Seriously though, for the good of office workers everywhere, someone invent this!

Chivalry is dead...

2008-10-21T12:26:00.001-07:00

This weekend I attended the Maryland Renaissance Festival in Crownsville. Good fun, I go every year. It was the last weekend, and the theme was 'Chivalry'.
Everyone was dressed up in their Lords, Ladies, and knight costumes. The music was wonderful, food was good, lots of bowing, and 'My Lady' going around.

It was the picture of medieval elegance..until you had to answer natures call. (key somber theme music)The Maryland Renn Fest has several areas of Port-o-potties set up. Open to all, and lots of them. Usually not any worse experience than your usual temp potty. But this weekend I was presented with not one, not two, but multiples (yes, I kept trying to find a clean one)of potties where some guy thought it hilariously funny to pee all over the entire potty. Yes, I know it was a guy, or group of guys, women can't aim up that high unless we have spider powers and can hang from the ceiling.

Now I can understand a bit of drippage, it happens to all of us, but where is the amusement in nastying up the whole thing? If you are so drunk you can't aim your willy, time to go home mister! So a total mess is left for the next poor female, hampered by 7 skirts, 2 belts and an assortment of cups and pouches, who has to try to clean it off with the 1 ply insta-shred toilet paper (that is if the 'jokester' hasn't also thrown that in the potty) all while holding back what feels like 30 gallons of beer and meade ready for an exit. Then use the potty while vainly trying to not touch anything with all the costume.

What happened to chivalry? It drowned this past weekend in a golden shower.

Bail out who??

2008-10-13T13:46:00.001-07:00

Just answer one question for me, why are we bailing out these corporations, to the tune of billions of dollars? Since when did fiscal irresponsibility and fraud become a reason to take money from hard working honest taxpayers and give it to corporations who pay top executives millions in golden parachutes and send officers on spa vacations? Did you think we wouldn't find out about the WaMu exec, who worked for 17 days, and left with 20 mil? This article by Johnathon Turley notes a who's who list of execs who walked out lining their pockets with gold.

What about AIG, who received 86 billion in bailout funds, but a week later sends execs on a $440k trip to a posh CA resort. Article According to AIG the trip was for salesmen who 'Earned the reward'. Did they not get paychecks? If they were selling so well, why did the company have to scrounge money from the US taxpayer?

Lets see, I feel I deserve a trip to the Bahamas, I've earned it. So why don't I take that trip, blow all that cash, and just hit up my neighbors when I get back for money to pay my mortgage and bills. Sure, that will work.

If you want to bail someone out, I can agree with that, but lets find someone who deserves it. I vote for my favorite locally owned market. They did good business, were close enough to walk to, they catered to elderly and handicapped, and they prided themselves on fresh produce and eclectic other offerings. Their lease came up, and the property owner more than doubled the amount. The owner did the math, and realized they couldn't operate at a profit with that rent. So they closed. Now folk in that area have to walk several miles or ride the bus to a market. Many part time workers who were making it with the job there, are looking for work. I vote we bail them out. A small rent subsidy would have kept them in business.

What about local farmers? Many areas have had severe drought. Some farmers haven't gotten a good crop in a couple of years. Many have had to sell out. Lets bail some farmers out. Keep local produce at the stands, save some green space in our urbanization. Hey, everybody wins! (except that developer who wanted to pave it over and put up condos).

What about public transportation? With the gas crunch, a lot of buses, trains, planes are cutting back, because they simply can't buy the fuel. Lets give them a piece of the pie. If we keep public transportation going, them more people can use it. More folks using public transportation means fewer on the roads using gas and emitting those pesky greenhouse gases. Everyone wins again.

I would have no problem with digging a bit deeper to help a fellow American in need. We are all on the same path. But I object to handing over cash to someone who has already proven they can't, and won't, use it responsibly.

Hello in Washington, are you listening?

Monday morning syndrome

2008-10-06T08:21:00.000-07:00

For those of you of the horsey set, you know Monday Morning Syndrome as that when a draft horse has the weekend off, goes back to work Monday morning and has muscle spasms. This is caused by going from a high level of activity and calorie intake to a low level of activity without change in the feed. The horse then ties up and can have actual muscle damage.

For those not into horses, now you learned something new!

Humans don't seem to have this issue, I would say we have the opposite. We live nice, sedentary lives with office jobs, then on the weekends we turn into Rambo, Lance Armstrong, Robert Dover, and the staff from 'This Old House' all rolled into one.

This past weekend, my husband and I decided to 'get things done'. This included serious yard work (moving bushes, pruning, digging a flower bed, putting down gravel on a path) a lot of house work (cleaning, organizing, bringing things down from the attic, putting things up in the attic, rearranging furniture and pictures) and at the last minute, a fast ride on the horses in the brisk autumn air.

Today, I can't move without pain. Neck, back, arms, legs, they all hurt. I feel 90 million years old, not the forty-something I really am. I took painkillers last night and this morning. Everything is creaking and popping, I can't turn my head to the left, and I am walking on my toes because my calves are one big knot of pain.

I think it wouldn't have been quite this bad, except for our spur of the moment decision to take our fat, sassy, and snorty horses out for a ride right before dark. They hadn't been ridden in weeks, it was cold (which always fills them with energy) and right at dusk, when all the horse-eating dragons come out. Wrestling with them managed to pull every muscle we have, so now we are walking like stiff zombies from a b-movie.

I say we, because my husband was party to this madness, and was hobbling this morning too. It's the real reason I hate Mondays, not because of work, but because of weekend fallout.

We will probably do it next weekend too.

Blogtations: just good wholesome fun!

2008-10-02T07:25:00.000-07:00

As is usual in the blogisphere, I found Blogtations by clicking on interesting links from other blogs. It's an excellent way to find hidden jewels. (kind of like a video game, yeah..)When I come across diamonds, I have to sit and read the whole thing. That certainly happened with Blogtations.

Currently on Blogtations, you are supposed to pick your favorite quote, and post it on your blog. No problem, as a newbie to the blog world, I'm thrilled anyone helps me come up with a topic! But, it's a hard choice! There are so many really good ones! Do I go for humor? or for poignant? the slice of life? I decided to post the one I most wanted on a t-shirt, which as we all know is the true measure of a writer, that something you said ended up on a t-shirt being sold on Cafe Press.

Let me warn you that today I am sporting PMS colored glasses.
~Can't Remember Diddly! Link to quote.

Yeah, I need that on a shirt, preferably hot pink.

So, Blogtations, happy 500th, and for my 3 loyal readers, go enjoy some of the best of the web. All compressed and listed for your enjoyment.

Happy Talk like a Pirate Day! Arr!

2008-09-19T10:20:00.000-07:00

Aye Matey's, it be that little known but much loved celebration of those who look on the world with avarice in their eyes. (or eye, as the case may be)

Here's a bit 'o Pirate cheer for ye!

This be the Pyrates Royale, from the Merry-land Renaissance Festival, and most jolie troop of scalawags.

"It's all part of being a Pirate! (a pirate, a pirate!)You can't be a Pirate, with all of your parts."

Airport rules

2008-09-01T17:19:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we flew to Sacramento Airport in CA for a family wedding. When we stopped in the restroom I found this on the wall.

If you can't read it, the sign says "Property of Airport, do not remove." As you can see, it's attached to a tile wall, with nothing around it but more tile, and a sink, so what exactly are we not supposed to be removing? The sink? the tile? Perhaps the 6'x12' mirror behind the sink?

There are no holes above the sign, (I looked, in case something WAS there, but had been callously removed despite the very clear sign) Zip, Zilch, Nada. Unless there was something invisible, (perhaps some new stealth towel dispensor technology being tested) I have to assume tile theft has gone to new and desperate highs in Sacramento.

'Alternate' ways

2008-08-27T09:29:00.000-07:00

What does 'Alternate' mean to you? I contemplated this on my way to work today. It must mean many different things to different people. I did some research.
According to the Online Dictionary it means:

al·ter·nate /v.
1. to interchange repeatedly and regularly with one another in time or place; rotate (usually fol. by with): Day alternates with night.
2. to change back and forth between conditions, states, actions, etc.: He alternates between hope and despair.
3. to take turns: My sister and I alternated in doing the dishes.
4. Electricity. to reverse direction or sign periodically.
5. Linguistics. to occur as a variant in alternation with another form.

I tend to go for #3, esp when on 70E heading for the ramp onto the beltway. See there are two lanes, which MUST become one. This happens all over the US, and usually very smoothly. Here is the USA, we understand the taking turns concept. There is even a sign at this interchange to remind drivers "Alternate Right of Way."

Why is it that here in Baltimore, that is such an alien concept? We obviously have different definitions of 'Alternate.' If I was to go by the drivers today, it means gunning your engine to keep your car 2 inches from the bumper of the car in front, and ignoring the 18 wheeler beside you. It means doggedly refusing to give way even when there are two cars side by side in one lane, on a narrow bridge, and going downhill. It must mean honk your horn and flip the bird to anyone and everyone around you. (Don't worry Mr. Mustang convertible, the Reverend you flipped off will still pray for you.)

Perhaps they believe the sign is referring to Alternate Music? Or Alternate Lifestyle? Maybe it's like Alternate Jurors, only called up if someone else can't serve. Maybe they think it's actually a 'green' sign urging them to use Alternate Transportation, or Alternate Routes? If they keep it up they will be finding Alternate Routes as they go flying over the side of the bridge onto the beltway.

Just so all of you know, (those who were driving on 70E this morning) that sign means we have to TAKE TURNS! That means first the car on one side, they the other goes. Left, then right, then left, and so forth. Why don't we all try that tomorrow?

Olympic fun

2008-08-21T13:38:00.000-07:00

In honor of the current Olympics, here are some moments of fun from the past courtesy of Paul Hunt.

Balance beam

Floor routine

Uneven Bars

I think this is hilarious, and shows incredible talent.

Did you know there were women knights???

2008-08-18T13:07:00.001-07:00

Neither did I! Found this info here

Here is part of the article:

Women Knights in the Middle Ages

Were there women knights in the Middle Ages? Initially I thought not, but further research yielded surprising answers. There were two ways anyone could be a knight: by holding land under a knight's fee, or by being made a knight or inducted into an order of knighthood. There are examples of both cases for women.

Female Orders of Knighthood
The Order of the Hatchet

There is a case of a clearly military order of knighthood for women. It is the order of the Hatchet (orden de la Hacha) in Catalonia. It was founded in 1149 by Raymond Berenger, count of Barcelona, to honor the women who fought for the defense of the town of Tortosa against a Moor attack. The dames admitted to the order received many privileges, including exemption from all taxes, and took precedence over men in public assemblies. I presume the order died out with the original members.

Here is a description taken from Ashmole, The Institution, Laws, and Ceremony of the Most Noble Order of the Garter (1672), Ch. 3, sect. 3:

"The example is of the Noble Women of Tortosa in Aragon, and recorded by Josef Micheli Marquez, who plainly calls them Cavalleros or Knights, or may I not rather say Cavalleras, seeing I observe the words Equitissae and Militissae (formed from the Latin Equites and Milites) heretofore applied to Women, and sometimes used to express Madams or Ladies,though now these Titles are not known.

"Don Raymond, last Earl of Barcellona (who by intermarriage with Petronilla, only Daughter and Heir of King Ramiro the Monk, united that principality to the Kingdom of Aragon) having in the year 1149, gained the City of Tortosa from the Moors, they on the 31 of December following, laid a new Siege to that place, for the recovery of it out of the Earls hands. The Inhabitants being a length reduced to gread streights, desired relief of the Earl, but he, being not in a condition to give them any, they entertained some thoughts of making a surrender. Which the Women hearing of, to prevent the disaster threatning their City, themselves, and Children, put on mens Clothes, and by a resolute sally, forced the Moors to raise the Siege.

"The Earl, finding himself obliged, bythe gallentry of the action, thought fit to make his acknowlegements thereof, by granting them several Privileges and Immunities, and to perpetuate the memory of so signal an attempt, instituted an Order, somewhat like a Military Order, into which were admitted only those Brave Women, deriving the honor to their Descendants, and assigned them for a Dadge, a thing like a Fryars Capouche, sharp at the top, after the form of a Torch, and of a crimson colour, to be worn upon their Head-clothes. He also ordained, that at all publick meetings, the women should have precedence of the Men. That they should be exempted from all Taxes, adn that all the Apparel and Jewels, though of never so great value, left by their dead Husbands, should be their own.

"These Women (saith our Author) having thus aquired this Honor by their personal Valour, carried themselves after the Military Knights of those days." Jeanne Hachette, who fought to repel a Burgundian assault on the town of Beauvais in 1472. The King exempted her from taxes, and ordered that, in an annual procession to commemorate the event, women would have precedence over men. This story seems to be a carbon copy of the Order of the Hatchet story...

In Italy, the Order of the glorious Saint Mary, founded by Loderigo d'Andalo, a nobleman of Bologna in 1233, and approved by pope Alexander IV in 1261, was the first religious order of knighthood to grant the rank of militissa to women. This order was suppressed by Sixtus V in 1558.

In the Low Countries, at the initiative of Catherine Baw in 1441, and 10 years later of Elizabeth, Mary and Isabella of the house of Hornes, orders were founded which were open exclusively to women of noble birth, who received the French title of chevalière or the Latin title of equitissa. In his Glossarium (s.v. militissa), Du Cange notes that still in his day (17th c.), the female canons of the canonical monastery of St. Gertrude in Nivelles (Brabant), after a probation of 3 years, are made knights (militissae) at the altar, by a (male) knight called in for that purpose, who gives them the accolade with a sowrd and pronounces the usual words.

In England, ladies were appointed to the Garter almost from the start. In all, 68 ladies were appointed between 1358 and 1488, including all consorts. Though many were women of royal blood, or wives of knights of the Garter, some women were neither. They wore the garter on the left arm, and some are shown on their tombstones with this arrangement. After 1488, no other appointments are known, although it is said that the Garter was granted to a Neapolitan poetess, Laura Bacio Terricina, by Edward VI. In 1638, a proposal was made to revive the use of robes for the wives of knights in ceremonies, but it came to nought. (See Edmund Fellowes, Knights of the Garter, 1939; and Beltz: Memorials of the Order of the Garter).

Unless otherwise noted, all the above is from the book by H. E. Cardinale, Orders of Knighthood, Awards and the Holy See, 1983. The info on the order of the Hatchet is reproduced elsewhere as well, e.g., a Spanish encyclopedia. I have seen the order of glorious Saint Mary discussed elsewhere, but without mention of women. I have yet to identify the orders of the Hornes family.

Women in the Military Orders

Several established military orders had women who were associated with them, beyond the simple provision of aid. The Teutonic order accepted consorores who assumed the habit of the order and lived under its rule; they undertook menial and hospitaller functions. Later, in the late 12th century, one sees convents dependent on military orders are formed. In the case of the Order of Saint-John (later Malta), they were soeurs hospitalières, and they were the counterparts of the frères prêtres or priest brothers, a quite distinct class from the knights. In England, Buckland was the site of a house of Hospitaller sisters from Henry II's reign to 1540. In Aragon, there were Hospitaller convents in Sigena, San Salvador de Isot, Grisén, Alguaire, headed each by a commendatrix. In France they are found in Beaulieu (near Cahors), Martel and Fieux. The only other military order to have convents by 1300 was the order of Santiago, which had admitted married members since its foundation in 1175. and soon women were admitted and organized into convents of the order (late 12th, early 13th c.). The convents were headed by a commendatrix (in Spanish: commendadora) or prioress. There were a total of six in the late 13th century: Santa Eufenia de Cozuelos in northern Castile, San Spiritu de Salamanca, Santos-o-Vello in Portugal, Destriana near Astorga, San Pedro de la Piedra near Lérida, San Vincente de Junqueres. The order of Calatrava also had a convent in San Felices de los Barrios.
and thirteenth centuries,' Studia Monastica 1987 (vol. 29).

Women Knights

Medieval French had two words, chevaleresse and chevalière, which were used in two ways: one was for the wife of a knight, and this usage goes back to the 14th c. The other was as female knight, or so it seems. Here is a quote from Menestrier, a 17th c. writer on chivalry: "It was not always necessary to be the wife of a knight in order to take this title. Sometimes, when some male fiefs were conceded by special privilege to women, they took the rank of chevaleresse, as one sees plainly in Hemricourt where women who were not wives of knights are called chevaleresses."

I could find no trace of any title bestowed on Jeanne d'Arc. Her family was made noble, with nobility transmissible through women, which was quite unusual. She did ride a horse and dress up in armor, but she did not wield a sword and never killed anyone, but rather grasped her banner pretty tightly.

See also the Nine Worthy Women (les neuf preuses).

Pretty cool.

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

2008-08-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

I got this from an e-mail passed around the world, I have no idea who the author is, so I can't credit them.
I thought this was great though.

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old)

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron,his wife, Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker,and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home. As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catching my throat as Belker's Family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away. The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's death,wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'
Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life -- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that , so they don't have to stay as long.'

Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Be loyal.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!

Virtual reality, I protest!

2008-08-12T08:10:00.000-07:00

Ok, you have all seen this commercial:

So what do you see when you watch it? The man and his son are making root beer floats, and uh-oh, the glass falls over and spills. They discuss how many paper towel sheets it will take to clean it up, but the mom confidently tells them it only takes one Bounty sheet to do it. Then SHE cleans it up!

Yep, same thing that happens every day in homes across America, males make a mess, stand around and look at it until the female comes over and cleans it up. This is a travesty! This is perpetuating the belief that males do not have to clean up after themselves! That some female will come along and clean it up for them. I would say we need to fight against this brainwashing but, we all watch the commercial, we all see what happens, and we all think, Hmm..Bounty is better at cleaning up spills.

Instead we should screaming into the heavens "NO! If you make a mess, YOU CLEAN IT UP!" (also we should be boycotting Bounty)

Just so you know, both my husband and my son don't see anything wrong with the commercial, and don't understand why I am so upset.
I am just going to go wipe up the crumbs and spilled ice tea off the kitchen counters now.

Celtic Thunder

2008-08-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ok, my mom just sent me a link to Celtic Thunder's website, and a you tube video. They are incredibly talented, but this one song is guaranteed to bring tears to your eyes. Unfortunately there is a line of text across the video, but the music is unimpaired.

Trash Island floating in the middle of the Pacific??

2008-08-08T10:22:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of this? I have seen it on several sources, and thought there were maybe exaggerating, but it's true. Trash, esp styrofoam (which is forever!) and plastic washes off our shores, or floats down our rivers, and into the ocean. Because of the currents in the Pacific, it ends up in the Pacific Gyre, and area in the center roughly the size of the US. It's like a toilet that never flushes, just rotates around in there. So what happens when the Pacific is full, where do we flush it to then? Also I have seen photos of beaches where the sand is mixed with small, multicolored particles of plastic.

Here is a website about a ship that is doing research on the Gyre, and get this, the ship is called Junk, because it is made of trash. Junk Blog The blog also had a nice list of site with more information.

Suddenly I am going to get pretty insistent about recycling.

Business Casual..

2008-08-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, we've all seen it. The person in your office who just doesn't seem to 'get it.' They wear their tube top and low cut jeans with frayed holes to work. Flashing their 'muffin top' and piercings for all the world to see. Or the guy wearing cargo shorts hanging down his butt showing off his dingy boxers, and his faded Coors/Nascar t-shirt.
They are why dress codes get written, and why Casual dress isn't allowed any more.

With a nod to a past employer who once read a list like this in a town hall meeting (to riotous applause from the employees, and stern lectures from the suits later); and also a nod to Jeff Foxworthy, and 'You might be a Redneck..'

You might not be wearing Business casual…

1. If you would normally wear it to a gym, it’s not business casual.
2. If it shows parts of your underwear, it’s not business casual.
3. If it has a beer logo on it, it’s not business casual.
4. It you accessorize it with chains and studs, it’s not business casual.
5. If it has extra holes where there shouldn’t be, it’s not business casual.
6. If the shoes light up when you walk, it’s not business casual.
7. If your outfit includes unicorns, fairies, butterflies, or Tinkerbelle, it’s not business casual.
8. If it has ‘Spandex’ on the label, it’s not business casual.
9. If it is sleeveless because you got hot on your last huntin’ trip and cut the sleeves off with a knife, it’s not business casual.
10. Greasy ball caps with ‘Skoal’ on the front, are not business casual.
11. Hunting boots with a 1 inch rim of mud still on them, are not business casual.
12. If it has camo on it, it’s not business casual.
13. If it shows deep cleavage anywhere, it’s not business casual.
14. If the skirt is so short, you have to 'shave' before wearing it, it’s not business casual.
15. If you get mistaken for a exotic dancer on the way to work, it’s not business casual.
16. If it shows piercings anywhere but your face, it’s not business casual.
17. If you bought it at ‘Hot Topic’ in the mall, it’s not business casual.
18. If it has words printed on it (no matter how clever or funny they are) it’s not business casual.
19. If Michael Jackson once wore it in a video, it’s not business casual.
20. If it looks like you could have a ‘costume malfunction’ wearing it, it’s not business casual.
21. It is has more than 3 colors in the outfit, and any of them are ‘neon,’ it’s not business casual.

More to come..

Only IT geeks will think this is funny...

2008-07-29T18:53:00.000-07:00

I found this on YouTube (of course!)

For those not quite in the loop, this was an IT conference where the main discussion was the fact we are running out of IP addresses around the world on the internet. To fix this involves changing IP addresses from IPv4 to IPv6 which will multiply the number of available addresses. This fix, however, means all routers would have to be replaced by IPv6 compatible ones (hence the comment about Cisco stock!)

It's totally geeky, with all kinds of inside jokes, and notice every person in the audience has a laptop, but I think it's absolutely hilarious.

Comfort Food

2008-06-23T19:23:00.000-07:00

On one of my e-mail lists, a lady posted about how her sons came to her farm, and did a days worth of work for her. She gratefully told them she owed them a big dinner, anything they want. They replied "All we want is your sausage gravy and biscuits." Obviously, that was a piece of their childhood that meant 'home' to them.

We all have our 'comfort food.' The food we ate as a child, that no one could make like that one special person, mom, dad, relative or friend. Or food that brings up special memories. The food that means home, safety, and childhood joy. I have several, roast beef with brown gravy and Yorkshire pudding, Byrds Custard with canned mandrian oranges (the cheapest, and best dessert ever). Country fried steak with thickening gravy and mashed potatoes. Southern buttermilk biscuits (with country ham, or sausage gravy, yumm!). Of course Oreo cookies have to be on the list too.

Notice none of these are probably good for me, but if I need to sit down and recover from the world, or I want to make some I care for feel loved, I'll make one of these meals.

What is your 'Comfort Food?'

The Nose incident...

2008-06-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

A week ago, on the Junk Drawer Blog, (one of the better written and funnier blogs out there) we were discussing nose issues. (It's a long story, just go read the blog) In the discussion I mentioned my horse breaking my nose, and some interesting fun I had at work because of it. I was challenged to provide the whole story of said incident.

Some years ago (aprox 14) I was horseback riding with a good friend (who shall remain nameless because strangely enough she is a main part of most of the stories I have of getting injured on horse back..hmmm) Anyway, this friend was riding Horse du Jour from my herd, a spritely 15 h grey Arabian gelding. I was riding my green broke 16 h black TWH mare Shadow who was about twice the geldings weight, and not very graceful. Said friend led the way, tripping along on the gelding, across a murky stream, hopped over a log on the other side and continued on the trail. My mare got halfway across the stream, and promptly sunk past her knees in muck. (we were very close to the bay and wetlands). Unaware of the drama behind her, my friend rode on, and as the gelding went out of sight, my mare panicked, believing she was abandoned to sink into quicksand, and pulled a maneuver worthy of a Lipizzaner. From the bottom of the stream, she reared up and lept up the bank and over the fallen tree in one tremendous bound. In doing this she slammed her 15 pounds of bone head into my nose, breaking my glasses, and causing me to see stars for a moment as she hurried down the trail. I caught up with my friend, realized my glasses were broken and tucked them in a pocket. My nose hurt, but I wasn't going to end a ride just for that!

We got home, and I looked in the mirror. My nose looks a little funny. I touch it and realize I can lay it over on my cheek! Too cool! My Dr confirmed it was broken, and said if I would leave it alone after he straightened it, he wouldn't pack it and I wouldn't have to breathe out of my mouth for the next couple of weeks. Sure, I can do that I said. But, I couldn't resist showing everyone at work my nose laying flat (I wish I'd had a hidden camera that day, it was priceless! what a bunch of wimps!) So I healed with some odd bumps, and a little off center, C'est la Vie!

I did have a rather unique benefit from this however. All my life I had suffered from horrible sinus infections and migraines. I had a deviated septum, which can be fixed but involves painful surgery and weeks of a packed nose while it heals (and 5k if insurance doesn't cover it). Well, my horse fixed my deviated septum in one blow. I haven't had a bad sinus infection or serious migraine since then. Well worth it! I should rent her out....

Invasions!

2008-06-18T19:24:00.000-07:00

Two years ago this past December, we bought a house with a lovely garden. included in this garden was a small pond, with either small Koi or huge goldfish (can't tell the difference myself), and a few lily plants. We waited for spring with great anticipation to see what would bloom. We also decided to hold our wedding reception in the back yard. Imagine our surprise to find an invasion on the night of our wedding reception. It seems al the neighborhood toads decided to join in the nuptuals by using our pond to conduct their courtship. At first it was simply humourous, but the toads throw a noisy party. They soon were so loud they were drowning out our DJ! It made for a memorable wedding reception, with only a few jokes. Later that year, the pond was first filled with black tadpoles, then little toadlings, but they all moved out eventually. The lone leopard frog and the goldfish in the pond avoided the toadlings like the plague, and seemed to sigh in relief when they finally left.

The next year we had toads again, but not quite as many, and a few more frogs showed up. That was ok, the frogs throw quieter parties, no complains from the neighbors on them. This year is our third spring here. The lilies are flourishing, and garden is lush, and the pond is full of frogs..lots and lots of frogs.
See the slide show here The Pond.
Now I am a bit worried about next year.

Anyone want any frogs?

What can you expect?

2008-06-14T12:30:00.001-07:00

What can you expect from a person who takes inspiration from a Monty Python Broadway musical? It's rather indicative of my mind set...a little off center, definitely warped sense of humor, curious about things no sane person cares about. For example, did you know the moon weighs 73,600,000,000,000,000,000,000 kg? My first thought is, ok, who weighed it? Since I'm guessing no one snuck a scale up on one of the moon landings, it's a estimate based on scientific formula. (a guesstimate, by any other name). Now, is that earth weight, or moon weight, because gravity is different on the moon, so things are lighter. (I see a future in spa ownership on the moon, where everyone's weigh-in would be a happy time!) So which is it? And did anyone ask the moon if she wanted her weight published for the universe to know? (I read it in a Snapple cap, and confirmed it on Wikipedia) Is this the same scientific formula they once used to prove the earth was flat? How well did that work, eh? One day a proven theory, next day a laughable myth. Isn't science fun?