And now for something completely different...

Ok, there is a crisis..and it's happening in homes and offices across America. This crisis is a severe lack of..Bathroom Etiquette.

It's not like there isn't information out there..
Women's Health Magazine Bathroom Etiquette Guide
Urban Etiquette Top 5 Rules
There is even a website dedicated to educate the world on courtesy in the bathroom
The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette
Goucher College even published a tongue in cheek version for college students.

There is a lot of humor out there, but that often has a grain of truth in it.
Male Bathroom Rules
Female Restroom Etiquette

A lot of the comments are the same, wash your hands, flush the toilet, etc etc. But I have a few especially annoying habits to address.

The Bathroom, even at work, should be a haven of peace and quiet. It should be clean, and smell faintly of Lysol or Clorox. Visitors to this realm should be courteous, patient, and neater than they are at home. There should always be sufficient paper products available. Since the majority of public restrooms are separated by sex, there should NEVER be surprises on the seat in a ladies restroom!

I realize this fantasy restroom doesn't exist, but I seriously don't understand why the seat in a ladies bathroom has urine spilled all over it. Are men sneaking in to the ladies restroom? Do we have a huge number of cross dressing guys out there? I can understand not wanting to sit on the seat of a grimy gas station bathroom, or worrying about mystery germs on the seat. But since there are seat liners and plenty of toilet paper available, I don't understand why women are squatting above the toilet high enough to splash (and therefore on themselves as well..ew!). Don't even get me started on the mystery puddles on the floor. Why would you leave that for someone to step in and track all over the workplace?

Teenagers in High School talk on their cell phones in the bathroom, actually they seem to have the cellphones permanently bonded to them. But there is a vast difference between 16-18 year old kids, and professional women in business suits yakking about their personal life (or worse, WORK!) while doing their business.

If the door is closed and locked, someone is in there. You don't need to knock, The door is locked! You can't get in until that person is done. Period. Really. It's not a hard concept to grasp. This is especially true at home. If the door is closed, stay out. Unless someone is laying on the floor bleeding, you don't need to talk to the person who is trying for a moment of privacy in the bathroom. You don't need to ask if they are ok, or what they are doing, or what the plans are for the rest of the day. Yes we are ok, what we are doing is private, and the rest can wait. Guys especially need to listen to this because you really don't what to know what we are doing, trust me on that.

Ok, can we recap those rules? They really go for men or women.
1. Don't pee on the seat.
2. Clean up whatever you spill.
3. Silence is golden.
4. If the door is closed (or you see shoes under the door) wait patiently and quietly at the far side of the room until that person exits.

That's only 4, but they cover a lot. Lets all have happy bathroom experiences from now on. Oh, and appologies to gas station bathrooms, that is a stereotype which is largely untrue these days. I have been in some pristine bathrooms at gas stations, kudos!

Here is a classic e-mail that made the rounds a few years back.
1999 Survival Guide